"I wish I had a river...

...I could skate away on." -River, sang by various artists.

The other weekend, my brother was here. And we both were in the bathroom. Well, not together you see. We both WANTED to be in the bathroom. But we didn't even talk about it. No, "hey, remember that I need to shower too!" We just waited until the other was finished and entered in silence. And it was then I'd realized we'd matured....You see before, if I (or he) walked past the bathroom and he (or I) was in it, we'd open the door a crack and keep walking. And then the one in the bathroom would shout (attempting to sound angry, but actually happy). This prank happened ALL the time. Now we're older and don't do things like that.

I thought my parents would be the only ones affected by empty nest syndrome, and that was true. I didn't notice that they had an empty nest, especially since I wasn't in it. But now that I'm home for a little while and my brother and sister are gone, it IS very lonely.

The British House of Commons was on C-Span 2 the other night. and while I usually don't watch TV just for kicks, I was drawn to it...I had been required to watch some House/Senate action in high school and this was SOOOOOO much more interesting than the C-Span coverage of the U.S. gov't. They were arguing and "here, here!"-ing and standing up when they agreed, and interrupting each other, and making snide comments about "the opposition." They jabbed each other with well thought out words and phrases. I am not that clever!! It was PROPERLY rude. so entertaining!!

So I continue to get rid of things I don't need anymore. One of those things is a bottle I brought back from Chile. It has ferns etched into the bottom of the bottle. My friend and I had gone out to eat chocolate cake in the arty district (Bellavista) and I was to embarrassed to drink out of my fake Nalgene at this nice restaraunt. So I bought a bottled water, and I was served this squatty bottle that had ferns coming up from the base. I already threw it away, but now I wish I had a photo to show, but I didn't find any on the WWW. The marca was something like "puehelecho". After being relentless and searching in Spanish "companies that distribute water, national copmanies that distribute water with echted ferns in Chile" and all sorts of other stuff, I found it!

http://www.aguamineralpuyehue.cl/

The opening photo is the best of the bottle that I found on the internet. But I don't know how to save photos from flash sites.
In the process of finding this I really enjoyed looking at Coca Cola, Danone, and Nestle's propaganda public relations sites.

Yesterday I visited the school that I had worked at for 2 years. (I hadn't been there in 1.5 years) The kids were SOOOOO tall. They are in a new building and it's BEAUTIFUL. and I was so touched that I had worked with people that work their butts off to give those kids a better future. My favorite quote from my visit was "I'm not in trouble Ms. B, I chose to walk out of the class room." (he was one of my big trouble makers when I worked there) and "How do you know my name?", and "you used to be the art teacher"...no, that wouldn't be me. And the kids who didn't use to speak very much English before, didn't sound like they had any Spanish accents any more. And then one kid, who IS hispanic, and his mom is bilingual said "I don't know that much Spanish" after we'd been speaking in Spanish together for a few moments. That made me sad. I found myself not knowing what to say, but then I remembered that was how his Spanish was 2 years ago. Sometimes not being around people or to not think of them is the best way to not miss them.

In the last 2 weeks, 3 people who were in my childhood have died. Granted, I haven't really interacted with these people in recent years. But it has seemed strange to me. Maybe if there were no winter months we'd have less death? right?

Our city thinks it's big enough for those road signs that advise how many minutes to the next hwy intersection. But I think it's lying to us. They are currently "constructing" and so the legal MPH is 45. The sign says, "ABC Hwy 5 Miles, 5 minutes" wait, how is that possible if we aren't even allowed to go 60 mph???

One thing I've enjoyed back in the states are the fruit snacks. yummy! That's one thing I've never really tried to "import" from San Diego.

I had a dream about my girls the other night. I gave one of them a present with Winnie the Pooh on it, and she said "this isn't winnie the pooh" and told me she didn't want it, and then I woke up.

I played piano for a church's prayer service yesterday night. It didn't go how I would have liked it to go, I was so nervous. But they've asked me back. :)

I finished "Never let me go" by Ishiguro, I highly recommend it for a fiction book. I hope to read Merton's Contemplative Prayer, and Lamott's Plan B. Now maybe I need to stop reading Danone's website and actually do something helpful.

"Snow is falling...

...like forgiveness from the sky." -Darlin' by Over the Rhine

I used to take writing entries sooooo seriously. I think.

Now sometimes I avoid writing b/c it makes my life less stressful. I don't want to try to be entertaining. My resolution, is to write shorter blogs, more often. But I make this resolution ALL THE TIME.

I could write everyday if I just posted my favorite quotes out of books I've read.
But that would be lame. (unless this was my blog's purpose and then it would be Non-lame)

This is how Anne Lamott feels about libraries (and how I feel about libraries)
"We were there to celebrate some of the rare intelligence capabilities that our country can actually be proud of—those of librarians. I see them as healers and magicians. Librarians can tease out of inarticulate individuals enough information about what they are after to lead them on the path of connection. They are trail guides through the forest of shelves and aisles—you turn a person loose who has limited skills, and he’ll be walloped by the branches. But librarians match up readers with the right books…as Barry Lopez once said, “Sometimes a person needs a story more than food to stay alive"….If you are mesmerized by televised stupidity, and don’t get to hear or read stories about your world, you can be fooled into thinking that the world isn’t miraculous—and it is."

I haven't done a good job calling people to hang out. It's because other things are hanging over my head. Like cleaning out my closet, and going through all my possessions that are in boxes. It's silly that that incapacitates me to be social. Or maybe it's just a good excuse. Maybe I'm not so much going through "culture shock" but a funny adjustment to routine.

It snowed here, and it was beautiful. Although I'm not enjoying the cold wind. I was trying to put groceries in my car on Sunday, and had to hold my breathe so that the wind could not assail my lungs.

There is a house I've always struggled to see when I'm driving about. So much so, a friend and I tried to...dare I say, "trespass" once to see it. But now it's not just a house anymore. Someone has bought it, and the land and has torn down all the trees that once masked it's majesty. They are building on the property, but are keeping the mansion. Much to my delight.

My parents small group came to our house on Sunday, and I fed them Posole, Tortillas de Maseca, Pico de Gallo (although it didn't have much jalapeño in it), and two kinds of salsa. It was fun! It was the first time I'd cooked in 2 weeks and surprisingly easy to get Chiles de Arbol. I didn't even have to go to the mexican stores. My mom took the right things to work today to eat Ceviche de Tuna, my other favorite food, but then called me to make sure she was eating it right. I may try to make some dinner appointments and cook for other people. Let me know if you wanna come over!

Next Tuesday I will have blogged for 1,900 days. I'm saying it now, because I know I'll have forgotten by then. The important becomes ordinary.

I'm hopping to go out dancing, and go to bed early. To see tons of people, and enjoy the peace and quiet. To eat all these foods I don't eat in Mexico, to be 15 pounds lighter in January. To study Medical Spanish, to take a break from thinking. I AM a living paradox.

ok. One more quote.

from Graham Greene's Power and the Glory
"When you visualized a man or woman carefully, you could always begin to feel pity—that was a quality God’s image carried with it. When you saw the lines at the corners of the eyes, the shape of the mouth, how the hair grew, it was impossible to hate. Hate was just a failure of imagination."

"how to live, not how to cry..."

Tortillas
For all you people out there interested in making tortillas...Don't use a wooden rolling pin. Thin PVC pipe is the way to go. I was helping make tortillas a few weeks ago (using the wooden rolling pin) and mine weren't turning out. I tried the PVC pipe the other lady was using, and WHAM they were beautiful.

I've found that when I mix my thinking in Spanish/English I don't remember the details of what someone said to me. I remember the general idea, but not the quote, which isn't good when you're trying to remember EXACTLY what the person said.

A couple weeks ago it RAINED!!! Only for like 5 minutes, but I stood outside the whole time. I love the way rain smells. and how it was sunshiny while it rained.

She NEEDS help to travel
Well, I'm back "home" for a while. My trip was good. They dropped me off at the airport WITH their son, which was fabulous, b/c he helped me with my suitcases, and was patient while I redistributed stuff to be under the weight limits (I know, I should have done that BEFORE I got to the airport) and then he escorted me to the security line before joining his parents for the car ride back to Mexico. But the funny thing is after two flights and arriving at my destination, the same guys that were in line behind me at San Diego, got to observe my parents holding all my carry on luggage for me while I grabbed my bags off the belt. Maybe they thought I was a special needs passenger or something? hm. :)

Newspapers and Radiation Therapy
We had a great conversation in the car on the way to Cali. David, the helpful one, noticed that his dad hasn't grown back the hair where he got radiation treatment (for cancer). His suggestion, he's 17 and very opinionated, is that girls should go to the doctors and get radiation on their legs so they don't have to shave anymore!!!!! The other thing he shared with me is that girls MY AGE, don't read the newspaper. And that it's weird that I like to read the news. and that YOUNG women shouldn't waste their time reading the news. I couldn't redeem myself. Every woman that I saw with a newspaper that morning had gray hair. He cracks me up. Lydia, age 8, entertained me too, by asking tough questions, and seeing if I could answer them. All those years on the quiz team and watching Jeopardy really paid off!! haha.

Culturally CLUELESS
On the plane ride I met a Persian lady who spoke Farsi who had immigrated to the states. I learned how ignorant culturally I was in just a few sentences. Apparently, not ALL the middle eastern countries have the same culture.
Me- "So have you enjoyed the fact that so many books are being published about the middle east, Kite Runner, Third Cup of Tea, Thousand Splendid Suns? Have you read them and enjoyed the memories?"
Her-"Well, I read them, to learn about their culture."
Me-"You mean, their culture isn't your culture."
Her-"No, no, we're very different. Iran has a better economy than..."
Me- "oh, so you guys are like the United Arab Emirates?"
Her- "No, I'm not an Arab, Iranians are Persians."


Upon arriving at home, I noticed a sweet pair of pants in my closet, that were not mine, and couldn't have been my sister's. Apparently my brother had bought them for a costume (pink and brown plaid, straight wide leg cut) and I wore them the first two days I was back. Thank you for the pants Matt!

Cockroaches or Spiders? hm
My dad insisted that I open my suitcases outside after what had happened with the stow away cockroach when I came home from Costa Rica. But I assured him that we don't have cockroaches where I live. I wonder if I should have taken his advice. I've noticed a lot more spiders than usual in our house, and one thing we DO have in Mexico are spiders ;)

I had a rough week right before I came home. 4 of our kids decided to "run away" (as best you can in 80 degree weather, without bringing water bottles, or extra food, or extra clothes) 3 of them are still with us. They had meetings and one of the girls (the instigator) chose to go back and live with her family. I almost feel like we've missed the chance to redeem her little soul. But I'm sure whatever good we did will impact her someday. But in the couple days before I left, our house was so much more peaceful. Another thing that happened was a water pipe above my room decided to break, leaving me to wet vac at least 10 gallons of water out of my carpet. Somehow all the water in Mexico found ME while I was playing soccer with long legged adolescents (the girls wouldn't play, so we got some guys to play with us. tall guys. young tall guys. BAD IDEA.)

Patient Pomegranate
The pomegranates here are 3 times the size of the pomegranates in our store. They are also 7 times the price. gah! Last week, I decided to take some pomegranate seeds with Payal and I on our little road trip to the Bachelorette party, and I forgot to close the bag. We sat them between us to share. She turned at a corner and there was a sliding/dumping sound. I said, "what was that?" and she said "my phone probably" but it was the pomegranate seeds ALL OVER THE FLOOR of her car. We cleaned that out, but the next day, she found 3 more. She'll probably keep finding them until she gets a new car.

The first week I was home I....

...went on a motorcycle ride with my father. and I had this little epiphany moment about all the things that make my home, my home...I live in the land where there is too much water (unlike Mexico) where we have gates on the roads for when the rivers flood, where John Deer tractors are everywhere, it rains, there are multiple roads to get to one destination, the roads are CURVEY...(I should have written the rest down. I don't remember them)

...sat outside in the hot sun and crunched rotten walnuts under my feet until they were black.

...read both Sex God by Bell and Grace (Eventually) by Lamottt (LIBRARY!!!)

...studied Spanish Medical terminology

...got a TB test (I'm clean), and a BCI check (what? no arrest record? crazy!!)

...played my Mom and Dad in scrabble. I think Mom won. She doesn't like the acceptable 2 letter list. She thinks it's cheating.

...watched my Dad cut a pineapple THEN RINSE THE INSIDE part off with water. But cleanliness is very important to him.

...helped with Doan and Kyle's wedding. part of the benefit was being at Doans house early friday morning and eating her mom's cooking for breakfast. I liked putting linens on tables and things, but I really like the way her mom interacts with you. She hits you! tells you what to do! and then she thanks you for it! hugs you! and feeds you! Their wedding was BEAUTIFUL. I should have gone to the Vietnamese ceremony earlier in the morning, I don't know why I didn't go. We had a TEN COURSE meal at the reception after the American style ceremony. Sea Bass, Lobster, Beef, it went on and on! We also had this milky fruit drink with bits of gelatin dropped in it, cut like jagged french fries. There was a fruit plate with fruit I had never seen before, like Longan Berries and maybe Persimmon? But it was good and we ate it! When was the last time you sat and ate dinner for 4.5 hours? yeah. that's what I thought. Maybe it was good we didn't dance a lot afterwards.

...ate sushi twice (soon to be three times!!)

...watched a Wilco, Billy Bragg special about Woody Gutherie with my dad that I got from the LIBRARY.

...listened to Mahila Jackson sing Christmas songs, and Jack Johnson (LIBRARY!)

...went to the Mexican restaurant where I used to work and chatted with a co-worker.

...saw friends who had moved to Florida (Paul and Barb)

...went new clothes shopping for the first time in a year!!!!

...held TWO babies. One named Amelia, the other Isabella.
(My shoulder/arm/cheek are in the photo)


...talked about things I didn't know at the Art Institute, and embarrassed myself. (That's a Renior! -No, No it isn't.) Saw a statue that used to be tarnished that they have since cleaned up! (Oh, the horror! It was prettier tarnished)

While I could probably have seen more people so far, it's been nice to do it gradually. Last time I came home, I was worn out from all the visiting. I've surprisingly gotten to go do a lot of things that were in my routine before. Visiting those places make it feel like home. The little cafe you used to meet your friend in once a week, driving the route you used to take to work, seeing the back roads that helped you meander to your destination so many times.

I am changed, in some ways. I went to the mall the other night, and I didn't even WANT to window shop. It was too overwhelming. I bought what I needed and I left. I used to love to walk through all the stores.

I've also noticed that the more space you have the more things you have. In Mexico, I almost always had all my things in my room. Here I've got two pairs of shoes by the TV. Another 3 pairs in the front room. Tons of stuff on the kitchen table....I'm spreading out all over!


"Thought I was learning how to take
How to bend not how to break
How to live not how to cry, but really
I've been learning how to die"

Loving Jon Foreman's Winter EP. LOVE IT.

(I think I'm forgetting how to cook while I'm home, or maybe I'm just to lazy.)

if only I had a cute way of signing off...

P.S. I missed the snow here. When I arrived it was like 75 degrees. It is cold now. So the first few days I made sure to lay out and keep my tan. I got quite a few comments on how tan I was. Unfortunately, it's gonna fade soon! But it was well worth the energy to get darker before I left Mexico.