chicken with the head cut off...

I know it's been a week, so I thought I'd write real quick.
Possible job decision tomorrow?
I feel like I've gotten a lot done this week, but also that I haven't had time for the billion other things I'd like to accomplish.
Wednesday I'll be shadowing someone at the place I plan on volunteering as a translator at. Poor grammar, don't judge.
ok. bed time.

maybe it won't rain today?

Too much free time always overwhelms me.
I’ve already checked too many things out of the library.
I’ve already failed at not studying Spanish after even visiting the clinic I would like to volunteer at.
I’ve still not cleaned out my room. I’m missing a couple tops that I bet are in Mexico ☹ A pink shiny one, and my white one with the funky fabric on the front.
I already have too many songs on piano that I want to learn. Prioritize!
And to top it off, I’ve been “job hunting” or so it’s called.
I got the chance to play piano for church on Wednesday, which really did make me happy, now I just need to practice this weeks songs.

I went to my cousin’s wedding, which was nuts! And fun! I saw people there that I haven’t seen in YEARS; some non-relatives that I shared my childhood with, and others, relatives that I never shared my childhood with.
I danced with my brother, dad, sister and my cousin’s little girl. I tried to teach a 3 year old the electric slide! We definitely had the kick part down. It was great that I got to teach her the electric slide while on the dance floor with the same woman that taught it to me when I was like 13 or something!
The night before the wedding we hung out with my mom’s family. We went to a big pizza restaurant and just started moving tables and chairs, when the management graciously arranged for us to use the private party room at no charge. Really, it was in their best interest too, because we’re a noisy bunch! As much as I love how late the sun sets, it also makes for some unnaturally late nights b/c you forget the hour. I was eager to leave, b/c Friday was the night I was to see my brother and his fiancé but we still left the party late. Even though they were here this weekend, I still want more time with them.

Sunday after church I ran to the Mexican store. There is more than one, but I call it “the Mexican store” b/c it’s the only one I ever go inside. I should really visit the others, they may be bigger or have better selection of products. I was pleased to see all the products I was interested in, huakamole takis, horchata mix, AND they had all the brands our store in Mexico has. The same brands of Tuna, laundry soap, Bimbo brand, AND AND AND Lala yogurt REDUCED FAT. How come you can buy Mexican Lala yogurt reduced fat in the states in a tiny little corner store?? And I can’t get it in the big grocery store IN Mexico??????? Somebody’s got some ‘splaining to do. And it’s Mango! Our store, when they did have it, had Strawberry or Peach or Plain.
I plan on making some tasty tasty horchata popsicles and made a list of Mexican food I might try to make in the coming weeks.

I’ve been exhausted seeing people. And really, I haven’t seen all that many, but when you add that with doing resume stuff, visiting a job fair, visiting a place you want to volunteer, hanging out with your friend’s three year old (I’m gonna teach him Spanish, and he’s gonna like it!) it becomes overwhelming.
I had been home since Sunday, and on Thursday I finally realized that I hadn’t hung out with my sister yet!!!! That’s how distracted I got. Nuts!

Driving around today I noticed some gutted buildings. There is something and romantic and beautiful about seeing the insides of buildings. They look simple and geometric or orderly. Although I’m not sure that everyone shares that opinion…

Ok, off to accomplish my to do list ☺

quotes from C.S. Lewis' Four Loves

These are just a few of my favorite sections...Let me know if you want more, I'll email the file to you. It won't insult me if you don't read this post.


pg 7 Lust corrupts its addict in a dozen ways, but not in that way; a man may act upon such feelings but he cannot revere them any more than a man who scratches reveres the itch….I am inclined to think that the sort of love for a man’s country which is worked up by beer and brass bands will not lead him to do much harm (or much good) for her sake. It will probably be fully discharged by ordering another drink and joining in the chorus.

pg 36 By having a great many friends I do not prove that I have a wide appreciation of human excellence. You might as well say I prove the width of my literary taste by being able to enjoy all the books in my own study. The answer is the same in both cases—“You chose those books. You chose those friends. Of course they suit you.” The truly wide taste in reading is that which enables a man to find something for his needs on the sixpenny tray outside any secondhand bookshop. The truly wide taste in humanity will similarly find something to appreciate in the crow-section of humanity whom one has to meet every day. In my experience it is Affection that creates this taste, teaching us first to notice, then to endure, then to smile at, then to enjoy, and finally to appreciate, the people who “happen to be there.” Made for us? Thank God, no. They are themselves, odder than you could have believed and worth far more than we guessed.

pg 50 The proper aim of giving is to put the recipient in a state where he no longer needs our gift. We feed children in order that they may soon be able to feed themselves; we teach them in order that they may soon not need our teaching. Thus a heavy task is laid upon this Gift-love. It must work towards its own abdication. We must aim at making ourselves superfluous. The hour when we can say “They need me no longer” should be our reward.

"Globes and maps, they charter your way back home…

…i want to hang onto something
that wont break away or fall apart
like the pieces of my heart" -Something Corporate


What have I been doing since being back from Mexico…

…sitting in my hammock chair out back. I tried to read/sleep but was foiled and instead listened to my iPod. So peaceful, I didn’t know the hammock was moving until I noticed the reflection in my iPod of the trees moving.

…finished Reunion by Fred Uhlman. It’s about the holocaust, sorta, or really about a friendship right before WWII. Everybody should read it, and it’s short. It’s a novella. Especially if you teach history. Very poignant, different than other literature I’ve read.

…tried to be busy? Haha.

…went to a job fair for the gov’t. It was really stomach churning to be around all these people whose lingo I don’t understand. I’m not “qualified” for most job opportunities (security clearance-no, engineer-no, etc.) but I have someone telling me not to worry about that. For now, I would like to work in a library full time and get paid while doing it. I also applied at a local bookstore as a “clerk.” I stopped at one booth and she asked me what types of opportunities I was interested in. I asked if they had a “research library” at the job location as I am looking to be in Information Services, and the lady said, “I wish.”

…went to a local medical clinic that I hope to volunteer at doing Interpreting/Translation. I was surprised to find they only use people about once a month, I had expected once a week, I don’t know why I thought that. I have a list of things to learn, yay!

…finished my resume, again. I really wanted to put things on it like
-strategically shooed cows out of the yard
-resolutely cooked dinner for 20, w/o regard for multiple opinions
-convinced children they have friends, when the facts might say otherwise
-tricked children into cleaning the whole house in a timely manner
-did 8 loads of laundry in one weekend, with one washer, one dryer, and 7 clotheslines.
-made stovetop popcorn without burning (too much) of it.
-anticipated waste of refrigerator energy and told the kids not to open it
-hugged kids, even when they were smelly
-expert at saying “No.”

…slept in. till 10. TWO DAYS IN A ROW. This is a miracle. Unless I attribute it to still being on Pacific time, which is highly probable.

…enjoyed the smells of honeysuckle, tall grass, trees.

…enjoyed that wind brings clouds and RAIN!!!!!! Not just dust.

…got hot and sweaty! (It’s sooo much warmer here than in Mexico.)

…got overwhelmed driving on the highway, looking at the steeples mixed in with brown brick apartment buildings.

….saw how BROWN the water was from rewashing my Mexi-clothes. (guacala, with a SOFT G –that’s for you Danielle.)

...lost the book I was reading and didn't have 24 other people to blame it on!!!! hahahaha.

One of my children had a test Monday night. It’ll probably take a week to find out how she did, but I bet she passed. She just needs to pass one more Math test and voila, 7th grade watch out for her! It has been hard being back. My heart is torn. But I know I’m not supposed to be in Mexico. The night I was packing I had two girls stay up with me. C---- and M----- looked like two friendly vultures, kindly taking things off my hands that I wouldn’t need anymore.

One of my favorite things about San Diego this past weekend was going up to the 15th floor and seeing the harbor through the glass elevator. The contemporary art museum wasn’t bad either. My favorite video was the people going up the steps of the Sydney Opera house, but they had digitally cut all the people out and had only left the shadows. Spending time with 7 people I really enjoy didn't hurt either.

I had a long-ish lay over in Dallas, and got to see Kyle and Doan, so that made me happy as well. They picked me up from the airport and we drove to a place you can only go to in Dallas (Steak 'n Shake) and then the mall, and then back to the airport. It would have been nice to have a longer layover :)

My brother called me on Monday during his break at work to chat with me. WHICH I LOVED. look I'm gushing. I have to wait to see him till Friday night!!!! (and I get to see Brittany Friday!)

OK. a to-do list is calling, but which one???
-the finish taking all my stuff off the back porch and into the house to-do list? (very useful so that I wouldn't bring any beetles in the house. I saw one come out of my suitcase in the hotel in San Diego. GROSS.)
-play piano?
-finish reading Perelandra?
-put up photos on Facebook?
-find a wedding outfit?
-find a job?
-make appts. with friends?
-study Spanish?
-hang out on freerice.com (quiz questions that earn free rice for people! time wasting with a charity spin!)


life is always full of great choices, they just aren't easy to make.

art

Sweet San Diegan Art

One of my girls likes to do graffiti, well, word art on paper- not painting walls that she shouldn't. She took the logo for southpole (a brand) and wrote it in a sweet manner, but then put it above the entrance to the bathroom, which is actually EAST. hehe.

I hope this old train brakes down

Then I could take a walk around
See what there is to see
Time is just a melody

So I’m currently trying to pack the last 1.5 years of my life into 3 suitcases, except I had somehow mistakenly thought that I would only be bringing 1 home.
I have already gotten rid of two reams of paper boxes worth of stuff, and Mom, this is for you.- I read the card out loud about how proud you were of Carrie purging her room before going to college and then ceremonially threw out some shoes. I know you would have enjoyed that. I really wasn’t in the mood to pack, I would have much rather been filling out a job application, but the internet kept kicking me off. My friends gave me a lovely ceramic water jug, and a plaque for my future home with all their signatures on the back. Both are very breakable, but I also have a ton of clothes, so I should have enough padding. R----- and Hannah hung out with me. R----- really scored as I gave her my left over junk food and some Mexican candy, and first choice of any clothes I didn’t want, but she helped too.

I’d love to write more about going to Ensenada on Saturday. Since Gabe and I are both “leaving”; him for summer job/college, and me for, well, whatever is next, Hannah (I think) proposed a fun day! A big group of us drove up to Ensenada, we left at 8am- no, David and I started cleaning the van out at 8. Somehow all the wet clothes and swimsuits from the day before were still in there. I sorta understand that for the little kids, but was embarrassed when I saw my 16 year olds wet clothes. My favorite part of all this was when the car seemed clean to me, but David still wanted to sweep the seats off so that they would look “enjoyable” to sit on. Haha. Totally something his dad would say. By the time we had picked up everyone and got gas it was like 9:15. You know, Mexican time.
I think I was recruited to drive, but had graciously given the keys to David. I later realized the positive consequences of this.
We were headed north on the highway, which is just a two lane road. We were past the military checkpoint and out of the mountains. Coming around a corner through a pass we saw a semi coming south. NOT IN HIS LANE. He was passing two cars, and couldn’t have gotten back in his lane. There wasn’t really a shoulder, just a wall of rock on our side, and we were going 60 mph, I’m sure the semi was going at least that fast. David got as far over as he could in the 15 passenger van- maybe about half way off the road. The cars the semi was trying to pass saw, and seemed to brake while the semi narrowly avoided us. It was soooo scary. I thought for sure we were going to get a flat or get stuck half on/half off the road, but we were fine. Had I been driving, I would have had to promptly get out and give the keys to someone else, but David handled it soo well.

Later I did drive around Ensenada town while we stopped at different places. Can I tell you how fun it is to park that thing in an overcrowded parking lot? Really fun since there are parking lot attendants that assist you and recommend spots, and show you how to pull in!!! ☺ I love those little men.

One of the places we went were the two museums Ensenada has to offer**. The history museum was mostly closed, an English speaking man who worked there told us it’s closed every Saturday!, He gave us some really nice pamphlets that I have yet to read. The other one, directly across the street, is an gov’t office that doubles as an art gallery that has two warehouse-esque rooms. One of the rooms, all the artwork was covered with brown butcher paper and blue tape, b/c they were opening that exhibit that night. The other room had walls filled with primary colors painted in bold juxtaposition with one another. I liked several of the paintings, but there was no photography, and I can’t seem to find the images on the internet. One was a windmill with a sparkling black background. One was a representation of a tobacco leaf in bright unnatural colors. They were having a Cuban exposition of paintings, so all the stuff was Cuban.


This is the history museum ^ It's a beautiful building with manicured gardens :) So glad to finally go in it, I've probably passed it 30 times on my ways to and from the border.


This is a real exhibition in another museum, but there was a painting similiar to this in the Cuban exhibit. This is by "los Carpinteros" and it's called "frio estudio del desatre" I loved Hannah's interpretations of all the paintings, I would have liked more time to listen to her theories.


We went to a Mexican restaurant for dinner, and that was nice. There was another table that sent us cookies, as well as a cheesy, ham, mashed potato concoction on the house. There were young men at that table, but they were also sitting with the owners of the restaurant, so it could have been from either demographic.

We spent some time at the marina. We watched a yacht being dry docked. The boys were in awe. While we were standing there it seemed like it might start to rain, I even felt some drops, and instead of being grateful thought, “It never rains in Mexico in the summer. If I would have known, I woulda’ brought my umbrella.” We were a few blocks from the car, and I didn’t want MORE wet clothes in the car, especially for such a long ride home. But it didn’t rain. Thinking ahead about the worst possibilities, or worrying, just wastes time, and eats out happiness.

Later we went to the movie theatre! It wasn’t as exciting for me, b/c even in the states I don’t go to the movies all that often. But here, when you have to drive 2.5 hours (not exaggerating) to see a movie in a theatre, it’s a special treat. The best part was playing DDR as an arcade game instead of a video game! I don’t think I’d done that before, and it was slightly embarrassing playing in public. The metal pads were GREAT.

I was going to drive home, but we didn't leave Ensenada until 10 pm, which is already past my bedtime ;) Plus, I don't like driving in the mountains at night. I love that I have friends willing to do the dirty work!

We had a great "despedida" trip. Maybe I'll have to put up more photos and things...



**I’m exaggerating of course. But I still think I’ve seen much better museum selection in smaller cities.

"I was never good at letting go

I'm lookin' forward to lookin' back
On this day"-otr



"In unexpected events let me not forget that all are sent by You. Teach me to act firmly & wisely without embittering & embarrassing others."

-This was a prayer that was on my twitter after a really bad day with my girls a few weeks ago. It’s a shame that I didn’t read it before all the drama happened. I now wish I would have taken a break from the drama and read my Bible, or escaped instead of just whining about it inside my head, and well...aloud to other adults.
It’s funny, I have one that thinks she can apologize, and it counts for other people’s poor behaviour, though she means well. She can’t endure conflict, even the healthy kind.

Another inconvenience that seems to be in Mexico, is things not where they should be. Like our electric box, that I walked a hundred meters to the other day, to flip the breaker, so that my house would have electricity. I vote that’s a bad place to have that. What if someone wanted to rob us, or cause confusion. All they’d have to do is shut off our power first!

Or parking…hehe. I once pulled into a lot in front of a bank without thinking about how I’d get out of the spot later. I was so embarrassed that I had to back my car into the only intersection with a light in our town to get out of the spot. Since then I have seen two other people do it, so I’m not the only one!

My family will enjoy this little story, esp. my dad. Sometimes I order the tacos at taco stands without tortillas b/c I love putting on as much cabbage as I can, and tortillas don't hold much cabbage. The women at the taco stands have a gift for cutting the cabbage finely, a trick I need to learn b/c it's soooo yummy. So I ordered a taco without tortillas, and the man looked at me funny. He asked, how do I cook it? and I said, like you'd cook one with tortillas, the same. The lady behind the counter repeated what I said to him, like his ears didn't work. So I wait, and he serves me this steak looking thing, lettuce and beans as little sides. Tacos de carne are made with really thin beef- grilled, or cut off a rotisserie, and then chopped up. So you can imagine my surprise when he served me a whole piece of meat. I said, "how am I going to eat this?" The lady found me a plastic spork, but I knew that wouldn't work out very gracefully. So I pushed my plate back over the counter and waited. The guy came back to me (mind you he's serving 10 people food) and said, "is something wrong with it? does it not taste good?" and I said "it needs cut up?" "Do you want to cut it?" he responded as he started to hand me the chopping knife that he uses on everyone's food. Styrofoam plate and the crowded counter within my vision, hm "no, would you cut it for me?" He happily scooped my meat off my plate back onto the grill, chopped it up, and slid it back on the plate. I had my meat cut for me, IN PUBLIC. I 'm sure that's a first in many many years.

One of the grossest days of my life...

So C---- and I went for a run today. Immediately after I wrote that she hadn’t asked to go running again, IMMEDIATELY (maybe she was looking over my shoulder, except she can’t read English) She asked to go running with me.
I conceded, and we went this morning while it was still foggy out with the June gloom. I’m glad we went while it was foggy, b/c I walked to the beach and back yesterday and got sunburned. I had no idea I was going to get sunburned, or that the police would be patrolling and actually offer us a ride back home, which we declined. The only reason to walk to the beach is to enjoy the desertedness of it all, the bleak landscape that swallows you up with it’s loneliness. Lindsay noticed that on the road to the beach, the north side is full of red cactusy flowers, and the south side is green bushes, grass, and trees. It’s cleanly delineated by the dirt road, which has zero living things. Nobody gardens/tends the area so I’m quite confused as to how this came to be. I can’t believe that 5 feet of dirt is all that is keeping the species from spreading.
Anyways, back to this morning. So C--- and I went, and so did the Weimaraner, and a stray Retriever. The Weimaraner or Papi, is a beautiful dog, but he is a puppy, so he was getting into trouble and I had to keep calling him back to us, “Papi, Papi” which is also a slang word used to address guys. So I was totally embarrassed when these teenage guys went past us, and I’m shouting “Papi, Papi!” Luckily they didn’t stop.
We ran/ walked/ hit Papi’s butt/ ran/ walked/ hit Papi’s butt because he kept trying to eat cow poop!!!! I tried to give him positive reinforcement patting his neck when I called him, but ending up getting cow poop filled saliva all over my sleeve!
Some meters up the road Papi tried to eat…….this is not for the faint of heart….a dead dog. It didn’t smell anymore, but still had all it’s hair SOOOOOOO GROSSSSS. It was still like a big piece of cardboard. He bit the back part of it, and the whole body came with it. That took a lot of frantic shouting to get him to let go of it, and some smacks on the butt, that’s how I know it didn’t smell, otherwise, I would have never gotten that close to it.

Anyways, how was your morning?

Can I make an egg for lunch??

This C---- story cracks me up. I went today to have a “family fun day” at the mission, translation, everybody come do odd jobs and clean the place up. I ended up painting most of the morning, and part of the afternoon. Most of the kids were at school, but C---- and M--- leave at 11:30 to go to the bus stop. Tia Janey was there, as well as Hermana Jasmin, but even with those two adults there, C--- ran all the way over to the mission to ask ME if she could cook eggs for lunch!!! I don’t know why she didn’t bother to just ask one of them ☺ but it was precious. I could hear her from around the corner saying my name in that special way that she talks that not many others seem to understand. So I shouted to one of the guys to point her in my direction (I was up a ladder, and not about to climb down). She came running in a hurry telling me what time it was (11:10) and if she could make an egg for lunch. It’s so nice to feel wanted.

Here's another C----- story. Some of the young adult women like to exercise, and they do it OFTEN. Several even trained for marathons. So C---- tells me, "I'm going running with them." This is a girl who NEVER exercises. EVER. I said, "really, you really want to go?" and inside it was such a turmoil thinking about how I could tell her no nicely, knowing she couldn't handle it. I figured they were running like 5 miles that day. Then Hope stepped in and said, "bring your bike." It was such a spectacle!!! Seeing her sitting tall on her bike, and keeping up with them I might add. They came home safe and sound, and she told me, "tomorrow, no bike, I'm running" well, she has yet to do that
:) and when her equally out of shape friend, M---- tries to get her to just run to the bus stop, or run home from the bus stop she throws a big stink. :) so M---- today was holding it over her head. "you want to go running with them, but you don't want to run home from school??" oh the drama.

Some things don't come as easy in Mexico.
On Sunday, I wanted some water to drink, so instead of turning on a faucet, I drove with big 5 gallon containers in the car. Filled them up. Took them back home. Then filled my glass.
I wonder how much more time Mexican's waste getting drinking water, or other people in countries with similar situations. Do they value water more than your average suburbanite American? I wonder.