-Guernica, Brandnew
So, I had intended to blog more this past week, so that it wouldn’t all pile up. But I didn’t. the end.
(and then we didn't have internet/phone a few days this week. so this is what happened. LAST WEEK.)
I’ve been doing an aerobics tape with my girls. I don’t want to make them hate exercise, but I want them to do it since we don’t get out as much as we should. We first tried this a couple months ago, but my 18 year old, M, had a temper tantrum. She is now warming up to it.
More recently, the first time we did it, she participated, BUT BARELY. I decided not to incite her to anger and accept that she was standing, sometimes marching in place by only lifting her feet high enough to pass a piece of card stock under them, sometimes swaying back and forth. She did have her arms crossed in front of her chest the whole 40 minutes with a slight frown on her face.
The second time we did it, she participated a little more, this time taking the effort to say out loud that the moves were too complicated, and that’s why she wasn’t participating. The third time we did it she goofed around the whole time, smiling and laughing and getting out of doing the full moves because she was telling jokes, or doing visual gags. A visual gag might have included her doing the moves in an exaggerated way, so really, she was exercising and didn’t even know it! I overheard her telling the girls she didn’t care about looking like a model, LIKE THEM! Crack me up. (I’ve never said anything about trying to look like a model, just to be absolved from any accusations.) update. Yesterday they asked me if we could excersize 3 times a day. I said no. :)
I am becoming my MOM:
Are you going out like that?
Aren’t you going to put makeup on?
Do those clothes make you look your best?
Your pants are too low.
I bought you this hair mousse so that you could find a husband faster. ;)
---luckily I don’t think any one heard me say that last one.
(upon noticing my girls opening the fridge when there is already food on the table or while I'm cooking)- "What are you looking for? Everything we're eating is already on the TABLE!" You're wasting electricity."
I won the GREAT OATMEAL BATTLE last week!
I have a picky eater, J-15 yrs old, (really that’s how she exhibits control in her life). She over eats, but only her favorite foods (fried eggs, tortillas, cereal, ramen, bananas), and when those aren’t being served, she avoids eating as much as she can. She skips meals because she’s dieting, but then buys a bag of chips and eats that instead. GROSS. (She’s curious what food is healthy for her, but is completely deaf to anything I have to say about Ramen or chips.)
I was really frustrated with her last week, because we bought everyone two bananas, and one of the girls told me she hadn’t had any bananas yet, but that we only had one banana left in our house. J picked up the last banana, and I told her- “M hasn’t had any bananas yet, I know you’ve already had one. What do you think the best thing to do would be?” She didn’t answer, so I said, “She told me she’d like to make a smoothie out of it. Should we save that one for M?” and she shook her head no and ate it without remorse. I can’t tell them what to do their whole life, but I desperately want to!
(by the way, whenever M has extra food, she ALWAYS offers it to J.)
I want J to think of others sooooo bad.
….anyways...great oatmeal battle. I am totally off track.
I served Oatmeal for breakfast. M was already at the table, the others hadn’t made it downstairs yet when M says, “You know J isn’t going to eat this.” I thanked her for informing me. I already knew, but I don’t believe in catering to every whim of children. I told her to think positive, maybe she’ll try it. And M said, “no, she won’t ever eat it. Gross.”
So, I decided to make it my goal that J would eat it ☺
After she got to the table (I make her sit with us and enjoy family time) I was obnoxious. Every minute or so I’d make baby faces and say, “just a little bite, puh-leeeeease.” Or “A little airplane is going to land in your mouth!” or “Look a train!” and make all the noises and facial expressions that accompany these phrases. 20 minutes of this, and I’d broken through! She said, ok, just give me a little bit.
So I served her a spoonful in her bowl. She asked if we had milk, I said we did. She asked if we had brown sugar (duh! It’s on the table!) and she used both things on her oatmeal. She ate it, asked for more (while trying to act like she didn’t really want it), and then told me her grandma used to make it all the time, and that if I always serve it with milk and brown sugar, she’ll eat it from now on.
MUAH-HA-HA. ☺
Two weeks ago, I wasn’t my cheery self. The story of the stomach ache:
or the stomach ache that made me have a headache ;)
M is my worst food hoarder, always sneaking food, or overeating without permission, or saving food from a meal, or telling me, “wow I’m full” but then when I try to take her plate to throw away her food she insists on finishing it…
Anyways, she got a stomach ache and was sure she was going to die.
Unfortunately she got this stomach ache at night and interrupted glorious sleeping time. I woke up hearing her complaining at midnight. I went up stairs and told her to sleep and that her telling us her stomach hurt and that she couldn’t sleep was prohibiting EVERYONE from sleeping. “I said, huh, we all eat the same things, and none of us are sick. I’m not sure why you feel bad?” while thinking, This will teach her! (to not sneak food) Then I heard her at 2, she had went outside to throw up, because she thought she was throwing up blood (she wasn’t, I checked, it was tomatoes- which I DON’T remember us eating that day.) she was crying and smelled gross. This included LOUD yelling, screaming, and uncontrolled sobbing. So she went and took a shower and went back to bed. At 4, she woke me up again. I couldn’t figure out why all I could hear was her talking to herself, saying “my stomach hurts, I can’t sleep, my stomach hurts, I can’t sleep” over and over and over and over. I went upstairs to tell her to stop talking (without my glasses), because nobody can sleep and it’s her fault, and I closed her door really hard, but I didn’t slam it, as much as I wanted to. When I got back downstairs I realized I could still hear her, and that she was on the couch right outside my room. The girls had kicked her out so they could sleep! This didn’t benefit me. I told her that adults don’t act like this, gave her some coping strategies and went back to bed. I told Johanne at 5 what was going on, and we discussed the possibility of taking her to a doctor, but at breakfast she didn’t complain about anything, ate her fair share of the food and life was good!
This isn’t over yet, but I thought it was
The next night we got to bed late, and once again, it happened. At like 2 she woke me up with moaning and grunting. And I said, “Did your stomach hurt during the day? Because you never said anything to me again.” And she said, “yes.” I couldn’t understand why she hadn’t been upset during the day. At 4:30 she started crying again, and she did it quietly, but it still woke me up and made me grouchy.
(for anyone worried about how I treated her, I made sure it didn’t hurt her to walk, she could drink water fine, and she was capable of calming down when I reminded her to. So I knew it wasn’t serious.)
also- this is the same girl who got into a friendly/giggle/slap/sisterly kind of fight- one that everyone knows is just to show love and be silly- and like 2 minutes after the fight is already over and she has moved on to reading or something THEN decides she is offended, stomps out and sits on the porch step, cries and talks about how her arm hurts where the other girl lightly hit her.
Wait, it didn’t hurt when it happened, but now it does? I’m SOOO confused.
Also, when she gets in trouble for something, for example, talking during school, she bawls and bawls and the only consequences were that she had to move seats. She over reacts. But I’ve also told her, that if she were really hurt, we might not know it, and that she needs to stop “crying wolf” as it were.
Life is good. Really. I got to enjoy going out last Friday AND Saturday night. Which usually I feel tied to my girls, so that was an encouragement.
We had a fabulous turkey dinner for lunch and GOOD mashed potatoes. It felt like thanksgiving.
I think I'm losing my youngest girl in July. It's a long story, but she's moving back in with her mom. She was a run away not abused/neglected, and Children's services has assessed that she shouldn't be under care.
I think I might be going to San Diego and back on Sunday. pray for safe travels! and that I actually send some thank you notes that I keep forgetting to send.
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