"So this is the new year..."

...I don't feel any different." -Death Cab

Being a single mom in the mornings is tough. Yesterday only 4 of us ate breakfast (oatmeal) partially b/c my kids didn't want to, and partially b/c they were busy looking for parts of their uniforms, hmk, etc. I realized that the Main Mom's love language is feeding the kids, and while I feed the kids, I don't do it quite like she does. So I spent yesterday creating monkey bread yumminess, using more sugar/butter/cinnamon than is legal. or so I thought. dun dun dun. I've never made bread on my own and it ended up tasting fermented. I tried to serve it to the kids, saying how much they would like it but I got comments like "It's too early to be drinking" "Why does this taste like beer?" "This tastes uncooked" "this has a bad flavor" opps. This incident shows me how different our childhoods were, as I didn't know what beer tasted like until much much much much much MUCH later in life. I ate some too, and now I have a stomach ache. Unfortunately, this isn't the first time I've tried to poison children. I seem to recall a couple years ago when I gave my High Schoolers lead filled chile powder suckers that are not approved by the FDA. (one of my girls just asked for the cinnamonsugarbitteralcohol bread for lunch?! I guess at least one of them liked it. Although she is also the one that wanted to add honey to it. She says it has enough sugar when you add honey.)

My friend ended up using the left over oatmeal to make cookies, yay! (but honestly, in all of this I'm curious why a lot of the things we consider "breakfast" actually are probably a bad start to the day... pancakes and SYRUP, cinnamon toast, jelly and toast, cereal, donuts, etc. Breakfast is the only meal that you can have dessert without eating anything nutritional first!!!! yay breakfast for everyone!!!! )

I wanted to have a special meal yesterday, so J--- cooked (not me! :) ) She made Chicken Flautas (fried corn tortillas with chicken inside) and they were tasty. The little kids and I cut up gala apples (one was so impatient, she "dropped" a piece on the floor, and said, "well, I guess I have to eat that one") and had honey so that we could have a taste of the Jewish New Year. ("May it be Your will, O Lord our God, that we may be renewed for a good and a sweet new year.") Last year for Rosh HaShanah I was in Costa Rica eating a fabulous meal with pure adults in the Monteverde Rain Forest (well, just outside of it) and this year, I was in Mexico also eating a fabulous meal with pure children (well, and Ben and Jose) in a place where it rains a few times a year. What a contrast.

The kids have hid the jello from me, for what reason I don't know. We couldn't eat it last night, b/c it wasn't in the cupboard. Also, someone hid two of my children's hmks in the top of their closet. Also not sure who, or why (revenge?) It's so intriguing I don't even NEED to watch those mystery shows.

Last night a former house mom dropped by for the first time since she left a year ago, and that was really nice. I was nervous to meet her b/c when I first got here the girls always told me "well SHE did it this way." and that was hard. but now I've gotten over that.

Even though I want to treat this like a new year, and reflect, repent and pray, my quiet-ish mornings go by very quickly. It will feel like a new year, when I will actually have the time to celebrate it. I really do think the words you say train your heart and mind, and that is what draws me to prayers others have written. While this is true spiritually, I think we underestimate how it is true when we call a child a "liar" or when we call ourselves "fat" or "lazy." I am a good cook. I can try to be a good cook. My kids will be sure to let you know if my positive self talk changes what comes out of my kitchen :)


btw: while I was making the bread dough yesterday, and L-- was doing his hmk, we listened to Death Cab for Cutie. L-- said "this is old people's music" and then later some bluegrass (well, Nickle Creek's Stumptown) came on my iPod and one of my little girls started doing "cowboy" dancing. It was so cute! My teenagers acted embarrassed when they saw what I was doing...and C-- has a bad habit of using the bathroom in the big house right after she wakes up, instead of using her own, even though no one is in the bathroom in her room???? I don't understand it.