in which the question marks tell the story.

I had a misunderstanding with the ladies that work for us. We keep some of our food products locked in a little storage shed that we call the “bodega.” This is generally the first place donations go before they go to other needy families, missionary families, or into our kitchen. Recently we decided to try buying bulk (works great for our family) and had gotten like 100 lbs. of flour. As it wouldn’t really fit in our kitchen, at least not at the expense of other food products, we put it out in the bodega.
Since I have a key to the Bodega, the lady cooking for us asked me to bring her flour. I asked her how much she wanted, and she said “half.” I wasn’t sure though, and thought I’d clarify. Half?? And she said “like half of the white thing” or “la mitad de lo blanco.” The bag of flour is white. Panic seized me. What was I going to tell her? That she is being unreasonable asking for 50 lbs of flour? That we can’t afford it? That I don’t have time to bring her an entire half of bag?** That we just bought that flour two days earlier and it’s meant to last us for a while? What is she cooking that she needs 50 lbs of flour? Does this mean we can only have homemade tortillas twice this week? I also was worried b/c I’d offered to help her, in my continued quest to learn to cook like a Mexican.
Thinking I had gotten in over my head I started backing away from her, so as to not catch HER type of crazy, saying “uh, no te entiendo.” The gringa way out, except that she knows me pretty well so she waited and I, as always, was tempted to talk more. “We use half just for OUR family? Are you sure? Do really want it up till half???” bearing my teeth in a half smile as if to say, “change your mind now lady” and then biting my lower lip in my insecurity. Bending over, she pulled out of the cupboard the giganto white plastic bowl she ALWAYS uses to make tortilla dough in.
"Oh, so not half the bag, half of this container." I sheepishly said, assessing whether my non-native Spanish was to blame.
I don’t know how many pounds of flour it holds, but after we had a good laugh and I told her every single confused thought I'd had, I found it weighs less than her 2 year old son, and is about 12 scoops of a regular size soup bowl.

**whole half was so much more tempting to write.

This may have been a lot more hilarious experiencing it than reading it, but I assure you, dear reader, we've mentioned it almost every day we've seen each other since. And we were laughing so hard we were crying, so if you're not crying there is something wrong with you.