I'm almost gone

J--- passed her math test, the one she took the day after Mother’s Day!!! Yay. She only has two more tests to get her 6th grade certificate! One is about “being young” (sex, drugs, alcohol) and the other is another math test. So fingers crossed! We do still need her birth certificate to continue her in school. I really need the gov’t to get on that.
The next opportunity she has to take tests is the Monday after I leave, or in 2 weeks. Can you believe I only have 2 weeks left here??
I can’t. and it seems like every song lyric I hear speaks to me about it…. “throw my heart out on the stones, and I’m almost gone” or “where we gonna find the eyes to see a brighter day”
I’ve been mourning slowly this departing since January. I even had problems when I was home, I’d drive past/through an agricultural area and my heart would go up in my throat.
I’ve learned a lot of things that I didn’t anticipate, like how to cook better. I find that when I have free time I listen to music in English, not Spanish, which I would have never predicted. I think it’ll reverse when I’m back in the states.
I’d like to find a job, I’m not sure which job would be the best though, as soon as I get some more free time I’ll get more to work on that.

I’m having trouble with one of the girls. She keeps comparing our place to other places she has lived in, apparently they were all better then ours. They didn’t count out how many strawberries you could have (I did it so everybody would get a fair amount- didn’t want them fighting like vultures). They bought you new clothes every week (we let her earn money to buy some pants, she spent her money on junk food). They only served Mexican food (we had Spaghetti tonite). I probably don’t mean this, but I would rather her be nice to my face and only say those things behind my back. Although, she could start some kind of revolution if I’m not careful. I’m trying not to let her change my attitude. I think the only way to fix this would be to build a relationship with her, and that’s not going to happen in 2 weeks. I also think that after living in 6 places, she has a lot of home life styles to compare. The most recent place she lived besides our house, was a temporary place- they needed to place her, and my girls told her how fabulous and perfect our lives are here, so I’m sure she has unmet expectations.

Oh, on a Mexican radio station they had the song “Dust in the Wind” playing, but in SPANISH. Sooooo crazy!

I had a nice chat about jealousy the other day with a couple of my friends. When we are intimidated or jealous of others, we often avoid them. Instead of this affecting us poorly, and just being “our own loss”, it also affects those we avoid, those we think are perfect and don’t need us. It punishes them in a way.

I’m falling asleep writing this, blogging earlier in the morning tomorrow…